Here are those bonus 50 CV bloopers! Remember that any spelling or grammatical mistakes have been left in intentionally.
I hope you enjoy reading them and Part 1 and the first 50 can be found here.
101. ACHIEVEMENTS – “I was the very best at maths and reeding during primary school”
102. HOBBIES – “Stuffing Owls.”
103. DUTIES INCLUDED – “Pretending to be on the phone”
104. DATE OF BIRTH – “26 Fab 196″
105. SKILLS – “I am a prooficient typest”
106. DUTIES INCLUDED – “I am responsible for information that I get off the sheets”
107. KEY ACHIEVEMENTS – “I am responsible for fraudulent claims.”
108. DUTIES INCLUDED – “Resisting the desire to fold my arms. Resisting the desire to yawn. Resisting the desire to put either of my hands into either of my pockets”
109. WORK HISTORY – “I am a pubic relations officer”
110. WORK EXPERIENCE – “My experience is horticulture is well rooted”
11. REFERENCES – “God”
112. WORK EXPERIENCE – “Dealing with customers conflicts that arouse”
113. EDUCATION – “I have a bacholorette degree in computers”
114. REASON FOR LEAVING LAST JOB – “The owner gave new meaning to the word ‘paranoia’. I prefer to elaborate privately”
115. DUTIES INCLUDED – “Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer emails, take odors’”
116. PERSONAL PROFILE – “I never take anything for granite”
117. HOBBIES – “I coached a female football team in Surrey and it was the best sex years of my life”
118. PERSONAL PROFILE – “My work ethics are impeachable”
119. SKILLS – “I have nervous of steel”
120. HOBBIES – “Here for a good time, not a long time”
121. COVER LETTER – “I’m attacking my CV for your review”
122. REASONS FOR LEAVING LAST JOB – “Maturity leave”
123. PERSONAL PROFILE – “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing”
124. COVER LETTER – “My dream job would be as a professional footballer, but since that aint gunna happen I’ll settle on working in c**p jobs for now”
125. EXPERIENCE – “Provide excelent custer service”
126. EXPERIENCE – “Resposiblities included checking customers out”
127. KEYS SKILLS – “I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut”
128. JOB HISTORY – “Experienced in all faucets of accounting”
129. HOBBIES – “Mushroom hunting”
130. APPLICATION FORM – “Q, in which areas do you prefer to work? A, Smoking”
131. REFERENCES – “Please do not contact my managaer at the company. My colleagues will give me a better reference”
132. HOBBIES – “Avid collector of elephants (not full sized)”
133. REFERENCES – “Don’t take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative and slave drivers”
134. WORK EXPERIENCE – “Revolved customer problems and inquiries”
135. SALARY EXPECTATIONS – “The higher the better!!!!!”
136. JOB APPLICATION – “Q, How large was the company you worked for? A, 4 floors”
137. EMAIL ADDRESS – “Loopymutha@”
138. WORK EXPERIENCE – “Developed and recommended an annual operating expense fudget”
139. CAREER OBJECTIVE – “Long career on the supper highway”
140. CAREER BACKGROUND – “28 dog years of work experience in HR (4 human)”
141. EMERGENCY CONTACT NUMBER – “999”
142. HOBBIES –“Regularly attend my local gym and regularly enjoy to go to my local swimming poo”
143. PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENTS – “Got married as a Klingon”
144. EDUCATION – “Curses in Art, curses in Computers and curses in Italian”
145. REFERENCES – “None, I’ve left a path of destruction behind me”
146. SKILLS – “My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable”
147. WORK EXPERIENCE – “My job was to pervert unauthorised people from coming onto site”
148. NOTICE PERIOD – “Minimum two (1) months”
149. COVER LETTER – “Enclosed is a ruff draft of my CV”
150. HOBBIES – “Cryptozoology”
Thanks for reading; I hope you found some of these examples entertaining. If you require any help with your CV, you can download our guide to supercharging your CV here.
Find a further 50 funniest things we’ve read on a CV in part 2 – here.
Very funny cant stop laughing